I've been having some problems getting my finances straightened out (faulty check card, multiple incoming checks, inability to consistently go to bank to deposit them, etc). Because of this, my friend Alex has had to find another roommate, as she will have nowhere else to live after August 15th, and had to make sure she had somewhere secured.
As I may have discussed in a previous journal entry (I can't be bothered to check), I am taking a semester off from school, and probably extending that to a year. I have decided to take this year to develop myself more as a functioning human being. Ideally, I will have a job, a driver's licence, and leave home in this time. The most pressing, of course, is the job so I can have the money to do everything I need to do, and also to help pay for school once I go back. The problem is, it has been practically impossible to get a job because I live rather far away from any sort of job opportunities, and even the closest bus stop is nearly a mile away. I have been stressing over this issue for the past two months, and certain family members are not helping by CONSTANTLY nagging me about needing to get a job.
Well, this Sunday is the St. B's reunion. I hope we get a lot of people to show up. I was worried that none of the teachers would come, but it looks like we're going to have quite a few. I also know that quite a few people from my class are coming, plus quite a few maybes as well. I know it's silly, but I am really upset that I couldn't lose much weight in time (though I have lost about 10 pounds in the last month). I was starting to get fat in the 8th grade, but I've certainly ballooned beyond all recognition since then. I wanted people to remember me after the reunion thinking that I've grown up a lot, not grown OUT a lot. Oh well. My best isn't great, but it's all I have. I've been sort of neglecting my friends for the past month just trying to respond to all of the people who have written to me about the reunion. After this Sunday, I should be back to my normal, rosy-cheeked self.
Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!
"Wocka! Wocka!"
You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up.
If only your routine didn't always bomb!
You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming.
If this doesn't make you love Bollywood, then quite frankly, there's something seriously psychologically wrong with you. Come on, 5 minutes here will change your life forever.
Backstory to vid: Girl in glasses is a pretty bitter about life (but with reason) and can't be bother with things like emotion, fun, and laughter. Guy in hoodie just moved in next door, is fun-loving and good-natured, but kind of a pain in the ass.
I was going to write out a huge entry about how much pressure I'm under for various reasons and from various angles, but I thought I'd just simplify and say that I'M FUCKING STRESSED!!!!!
The whole thing about it (for reasons that I'm not in the mood to write about now but I'd probably tell you if you ask) is that they did it to hurt ME personally. The stereo and the computer I am pissed about, sure, but the others were stolen to make me upset.
I'm soooo siiiiick. I CAN'T BE SICK RIGHT NOW! I've got so much to do this week. I've got SEVEN papers to write! But I can barely sit here and write this without wanting to fall over. Tomorrow's Alea's confirmation, and I don't know how I'm gonna be able to stand there next to her. Please, GOD, let me be better by tomorrow. Also, I'm suppose to sing on Tuesday and I haven't even practiced because I lost my voice for two days.God, please don't let me look like an idiot.
For those of you who don't know, I'm going to Europe May 29-June 22.I've never flown on a plane before, and I've never been away from home for more than a week. I must ask you all: how do you pack for a trip like this??? Do you pack one enormous bag or do you schlep two or three small ones? The thins is, we're not going to one place and staying put for three weeks. We probably won't be in one place for than two or three days max. There are trains, cares, boats to consider. Should I worry about a bunch of bags, or struggle to lug enormous luggage around Europe. I'm a big girl, and I know that this in no way will be "backpacking"; the sheer mass of my underwear alone will be significant (though I do intend on using the tried-and-true method of bringing old underwear and throwing them out as I go to make souvenir space). If anyone has any helpful hints, PLEASE SHARE!!!
I would like to announce that I am soon to have a special new someone in my life. That's right! I'M GETTING AN MP3 PLAYER! HURRAH!!!! Here are some pictures:
(I actually got it at amazon.com for a much lower price, but this site has better piccies.) I really like it because it doesn't have many (any, really) extras: no voice recorder, no FM radio, no games, etc. I don't want to be a douchebag and be constantly playing with her toys like someone else I know... I just want to be an occasional douchebag! I was torn between the metallic pink and the cool graphic blue one, but I figured I'd get the pink since I have matching pink earbuds.
I want very badly to scream right now, but unfortunately I live on the quiet floor. I am so blaaaaah I can't stand it. I feel shitty on the max ALL THE TIME and it won't stop. I have no outlet for my mood, and I can't express my emotions to anyone because I don't even know what they are. I've been depressed before but not like this. I don't even know how to describe this. I can't sleep at night. I can't stay awake when it's appropriate to do so. Just... blah. This really sucks and I hate it. My schoolwork is reeeeeeeally suffering to do the fact that I can't even make it to class half the time because I'm either exhausted or ill. I really really love my classes and my teachers this semester, so that's not it. I'm just so frustrated with myself for feeling like shit when I have no reason to whatsoever. I can't even bring myself to get a fucking job because I know that if I feel just shitty with virtually no responsibilty, how the hell am I gonna get off my ass and go to work?? Well, no, I take that back (partially); I started an application but I didn't have all the info to finish it, but then I didn't bother to find the info because blah blah blah. My life just seems very pointless at the moment. Plus I'm also kinda pissy 'cause I can't go to a concert on Friday that I reeeeeeeeally wanna go to, but I'm being forced to go to one next week that I have no interest in. My kinda my current pissy point, but whatever. Anytwiddles, must get back to Jane Eyre if I want to have time for breakfast.
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bkaleidoscope's journal
hopeful
determined
funny
discontent
smerrh
confused
sick